Monday, December 9, 2013


For some reason the long blog I wrote and published yesterday disappeared. I don't have it in me to do it again so here is a short version. (Sorry Mike)

Radiation is next. The PET scans revealed that the brightness of the cancer is dimmed. This was the good news the oncologist had given me that I shared on Facebook some weeks back. At later appointments it was explained to me that the size of the tumors while somewhat smaller are still a concern. 

I started radiation today after a very long wait for the doctor to develop a plan that he felt would be efficient at eradicating any remaining cancer cells while trying to minimize damage to other organs and tissue. If the size of the tumors does not shrink with radiation, another biopsy will be ordered to determine if more treatment is necessary.

I am exhausted after treatment today. Mostly emotionally but physically as well.   A mask was made by pressing a hot form down over my face. This mask is used to bolt my head to the radiation table and hold me completely still. Not only does this make me feel very claustrophobic and panicky but being still for so long after months of chemo and a car accident last week made me sore all over (a scared stiff kid rammed into me while looking at his radio - another chance for Jesus to love).  Treatments are longer than they had initially thought they would be. They first told me 20 minutes, then 30 minutes and today was actually more in the range of 45-50 minutes. I am hopeful this will be a little easier each day, that I will become more accustomed to the situation and more relaxed. 

I have another friend who was diagnosed with cancer at an er visit a few weeks ago - very suddenly he found himself in surgery, removing organs and growth from his spine and tubes stuck in here and there and pain and chaos. He shared this week that he noticed the scripture says to praise God IN all things not FOR all things (1 Thessalonians 5:18NLT). David and I have had a lot of practice at that in the past years and the love that grows from the praise is really big and wonderful. The thing about big and wonderful love is that it seems to just ooze out without effort. Today, exhausted from radiation, I mean really exhausted, I was sent to the lab for blood work where a nurse poured her heart out to me. It is so true that when we are weak He is strong. I looked as terrible as I felt and yet after all these months of her drawing blood from me today was the day she felt I was there to love her. When I walked into the lab all I was thinking about was going home and curling up in bed and crying but instead I found myself praising the Lord for His strength and His heart of love for her as she shared her sorrow. I still think cancer is really not fun but I'm so glad to have been in that chair today to tell this woman that she is loved. 

Thank you for your continued prayers. David and I continue to be excited about what the Lord is doing in our lives.

Radiation every weekday morning at 10:45 for about thirty minutes - 17 more treatments ! Looking forward to sharing about cancer in the past tense. 


izzy and clan said...

Still praying, still loving you and your family.

Anonymous said...

So can the mask double as a halloween mask for one of the kids when you are finished with it?

I will pray each morning for you at 5:15 for 17 weeks...(I rarely make those promises~) for you to be able to rest and rest and rest.

I know by now you are living one hour, one day, one week... at a time and in the midst of the your hard journey I am sure you will be able to celebrate Christmas with the family - maybe not in the manner you would like - but with your family. I like many others would be blessed just to be in your family - it will just be fun to be together and celebrate and obviously you have enough cooks, helpers and whatever... it is your time to receive the gift of love and time from your family~

Karla Lakhdar said...

Still praying for you to be healed and gathering strength from your posts. Regardless of people's faith, those that believe in one God seem to have the same feeling and purpose in life. God bless you, Beth.